you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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