I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
