My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
