well you can't waste a boner
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize