It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
