I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
