The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Randomize
