it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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