I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
