i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
