my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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