I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
