i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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