my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
