with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
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I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
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also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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