so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
