There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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