I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Can vaginas get frostbite?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
