Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
