I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
