he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
