Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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