How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Randomize
