good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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