just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
