I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
