The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
