piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
handjob tips. give me some.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
