I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
