But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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