I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
