I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
