you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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