I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
