i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
