At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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