The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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