It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
