If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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