I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
