So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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