So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
