three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Randomize
