You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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