well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
