Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
