I'm going to jail i love you
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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