I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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