We're facebook friends in real life
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
