So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
