Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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