wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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