Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize