I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
