I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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