Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
