Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
