Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
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Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
organizing the empties. That sober.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
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yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?