"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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