who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
