i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.