Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?

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  (619): he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear? http://tfl.nu/9u5k
  Replies (111) Good night (1548) Bad night (5627)
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  (718): View more from New York

  Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up

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  (718): Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up http://tfl.nu/269s
  Replies (7) Good night (652) Bad night (3926)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.

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  (847): i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1. http://tfl.nu/5eb0
  Replies (46) Good night (1956) Bad night (5848)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.

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  (305): I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind. http://tfl.nu/8l0m
  Replies (57) Good night (12591) Bad night (1117)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.

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  (503): Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare. http://tfl.nu/yoal
  Replies (32) Good night (6746) Bad night (1068)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.

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  (403): Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying. http://tfl.nu/rtdk
  Replies (42) Good night (8508) Bad night (2042)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands

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  (617): the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands http://tfl.nu/ha5y
  Replies (15) Good night (7215) Bad night (1760)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am

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  (586): The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am http://tfl.nu/ycag
  Replies (13) Good night (2247) Bad night (1056)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.

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  (865): I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on. http://tfl.nu/71nz
  Replies (5) Good night (1852) Bad night (677)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....

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  (910): I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself..... http://tfl.nu/3gq0
  Replies (4) Good night (1379) Bad night (666)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?

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  (989): Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night? http://tfl.nu/ukhn
  Replies (6) Good night (842) Bad night (1286)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body

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  (361): I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body http://tfl.nu/4g9m
  Replies (3) Good night (1119) Bad night (580)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.

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  (724): I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout. http://tfl.nu/bypz
  Replies (3) Good night (932) Bad night (434)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.

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  (952): Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate. http://tfl.nu/tke3
  Replies (5) Good night (994) Bad night (435)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.

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  (862): I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion. http://tfl.nu/iauk
  Replies (3) Good night (332) Bad night (117)

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