Don't you send me to vm
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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